paperbox

Yeah.

I actually kind of forgot about paperbox for a while because I was preoccupied with some other things.

Things like, THESIMS2.

^Sucks your life away like air.

I played it a couple years ago but the interest died off because it was too addictive. Until I started watching some machinima videos made with the Sims 2 and I got really interested in doing so too so I spend my whole day, yes almost 12 hours playing, setting up, recording, clipping and subtitling a video from the Sims today.

Mind that this is my first time ever creating a video/working with media programs other than photoshop and… well photoshop.

Windows Movie Maker was thankfully really simply to use so I learned to put everything together with some time.

Anyway, yeah the video I made. It’s random. I might be continuing it into a series, who knows what. It’s just the test/preliminary before I actually make something serious-serious.

Here it is, in all its glory on YouTube.
Keep in note that this is my first video ever, I was sleep deprived, I improvised the script as I went along making it etc etc. AKA it sucks.

Poison

Watch me die.

Portrait of my Mom. She wanted me to draw her so I figured why not. Originally a little bigger but Flickr downsized it. This one took about 45 minutes. (Spedpainted in Photoshop)

A full-colored illustration of an idea for a painting for my Senior Show. I kind of wanted to not show anyone until the show came around but whatever. I needed to do it because I have to take a picture of one of my works for the yearbook tomorrow, so I neglected all my other schoolwork stuff to do it. I’m an idiot, lol.

It didnt really come out the way I wanted though–too bright/too many colors. Its about 8×11 in size. It surprisingly took a really long time, because I kept slacking off and had trouble with the composition. Its the same guy from my last post, which I just made up. I used Prismacolors and some pens for the linework, which I ended up not using for the girl on the side.

Now I need to do all my other homeworks.

I’m so dead.

Just some more sketching/practice. I find this angle really hard to do for some reason. Or any other upward angle.

I also updated the about page with the stuff I use to draw, not that it really matters.

Strangely, I’m feeling alot better than I was yesterday. It felt like all the bad things didnt happen. Everything felt lighter. :O

I’m really trying hard to get myself back on track with drawing again, and trying to improve etc.

Senior Show #2 : LIVINGROOM just started/opened today, it was pretty neat. Holman was part of the showcase. His footsteps on the wall were awesome, lol. I’m starting to get nervous though, I’m in show #4 and I don’t have any pieces/work done yet. Starting everything off from scratch.

I kept trying to think of new ideas but they all seem old and done already.

I need superspiration. >:O

I really haven’t drawn anything in ages, with the exception of art history homework stuff, or things that I have to do like studio art.I’ve been having having a really unstable pattern of feelings day by day, feeling happy one day, really depressed the next. I still can’t move on. I know that if I continue to feel upset about things, it would just make others around unhappy, but if I act like I’m okay, people will think I’m fine but I’m really not.

I’m really starting to think that I have no real worth in life. Other than just drawing here and there, and whatever.

I just really want things to go back to normal. If only I could make up for those mistakes I did in the past, I would really do anything for that to have a better situation now. I just feel so stupid for causing so much pain and suffering from my own thoughts just because of love.

If I could change myself, to become a better person, more interesting, more fun to hang around with, I would do it. But I just feel like I have no motivation whatsoever now.

I don’t know. This is just a rant, and it’s getting depressing again, so I’m just gonna stop here.

Why can’t I just grow up.